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A Newsletter
for the Business Professional, By Bob Gibson
There are always two negotiations taking place simultaneously –
the obvious, conventional one on top of the table, concerning issues: money, deadlines, specs.
But the real negotiation - the subtle, complex negotiation –
goes on “under the table” and isn’t about issues at all.
It’s about Who-You-Are, and
Who-They-Are.
Bob Gibson
Many people think negotiations are about tactics and strategies. They are, but only on the surface. It’s what’s
under the table that determines whether negotiations work. It’s an individual’s emotions and values that determine which tactics work and which don’t, when to select certain tactics, and what style to adopt and which to avoid.
A good metaphor for a negotiator is a Doctor. As a negotiator you have many tools at your disposal, much as a Physician has many possible solutions for treating a health problem: pills (thousand of different kinds) potions, ointments, shots, physical therapy, surgery, diet, lifestyle changes … there are many options. The more a Doctor knows about you – how you react and respond to different treatments, the better job they can do of getting results.
You as a negotiator are no different. You have access to different styles, techniques, strategies and options in a negotiation. Knowing which to use depends on your knowledge of the other person. What drives them under the table? What are their values? What are they “allergic” to?
Before we begin the list, don’t make the mistake of thinking that someone doesn’t have values, or that you’re not able to discern them. Everyone has values, and you can detect them because everyone has behaviors. Observe behaviors, and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what’s under the table with most people. I think it was William James who said,
“I’ve stopped listening to what men say. I just watch what they do.”
He was pretty smart.
So …. Here we go. Below is a list – not all, but certainly enough to get the ball rolling.
Looking Good …
Everyone wants to look good – to someone. The question is – to whom? Some want to look good to customers, many to a manager, some to co-workers, some to a board, or to shareholders.
These patterns begin early. Many students want to impress their peers (as evidenced by their dress, their attitude, and their language) but not teachers. These same students may grow up to be the Union workers who want to look good to other union members, but not management, or the corporate workers who want to look good to co-workers, but don’t take the same effort to impress executives. Others are the opposite, seizing every opportunity to impress those up-the-ladder.
None of this makes sense when you look at the truth: it’s not union buddies or a High School “friend du jour” that determines where one ends up. It’s teachers and management. It’s worth remembering that old saw:
“There’s no such thing as abnormal behavior – not to the person doing it.”
When I’m consulting/preparing for a negotiation with a client, I question I always ask is, “Who is this person most anxious to impress?” The answer tells you a lot.
Being Fair –
In a world that may seem hard and cynical, many are still motivated by simply being fair to the other person. My experience is that this is not as uncommon as many might think. I see it all the time.
Power –
The link between negotiation and power has been chronicled since early times, and probably doesn’t need to be explored again here, except to say that many people are driven by having things their own way, whether it’s a number on a contract or where a desk sits in an office. This has not much to do with the money or the placement of the desk. It has to do with power, with control, and with who calls the shots.
We’ve only been through a few of the under the table drivers, and already you can see that drivers make an incredible difference in selection of tactics and strategy. If you are negotiating with someone driven by power, for example, you would negotiate very differently than negotiating with someone driven be being fair.
So – here’s your homework: Observe the people in your world during the next week or so. This might include your manager, your co-workers, your staff, your customers, even your spouse or significant other. Spend a few minutes thinking about what drives them? What’s under the table for them?
In our next newsletter, we’ll discuss more drivers, and a game plan to incorporate that knowledge into an effective strategy. We’ll also discuss the other side of the coin - Your drivers. The game becomes more interesting and complex when you honestly factor in what’s under your table.
Until’ then – Good negotiating to you!
Bob
For
more articles and information visit our web site at:
www.negotiationresources.com
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About
Bob Gibson
Bob
has assured the business success of his clients since founding
Negotiation Resources in 1987. In addition to negotiating for
clients in the corporate arena, Bob advises and coaches middle to
senior level executives. His STREET-SMART® BUSINESS SERIES has
proven an effective vehicle to convey his decades of real-world
experience to business people in America, Europe, Canada, Mexico,
and Asia.
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